Define Your Why (7 tips to find + remember your North Star)
You have epic plans and you’re doing amazing things. But do you know why? And can you state your reasons in a super clear way?
If not, no worries! It’s totally normal to feel a bit lost — I’ve been there plenty. As someone with multiple passions and a rotating attention span, things always felt loose and meandering.
So I’m here to share what’s helped me define my why the most.
Now let’s do this!
Table of Contents Show
What Does ‘Your Why’ Mean?
Your why is your North Star. It’s the reason you pursue your passions, dream big, take risks and continue to show up. It’s your source of motivation.
Sometimes, this personal Polaris is obvious. But often, it’s overlooked or feels a bit illusive (or boring — like “I don’t know, I want money!”).
Explore more:
➤ What’s Your Ikigai (life purpose)?
Why Your Why Is Important
Be more consistent
Get less distracted by shiny objects
Have better organization
Clarify goals
Meet more of your goals
Find your purpose
Handle setbacks better
How to Define Your Why (7 tips)
1. Get Hyper Aware of Your Values
The first step I took to define my why was identifying my core personal values. It was something I never thought about seriously.
Personal value can feel obvious at first, but you may realize you struggle to quickly describe them quickly or specifically.
So, what are your core values? Start there. Here are some examples:
Health
Wealth
Family
Creativity
Selflessness
Integrity
Honesty
Spirituality
Kindness
Autonomy
If you’re not sure, try the free test at personalvalue.es. It’s the one I took and it gives your top 5 personal values.
2. Don’t be Boring — Make it Transformational
What makes a good why vs a bad why? IMO, a good why is specific, personal and something transformative.
For example, if your why is just “I want more money”, that’s pretty boring and forgettable. It needs to be more compelling if it’s going to stick.
So it helps to focus on the personal or transformational aspects of your reasons why.
For example, “I want to make money to give my children a comfortable life so they don’t struggle like I did” is a way stronger why!
The more compelling, specific and impactful your why is, the more likely you’ll remember it.
3. Define Your Obsessions
“My motivations and reasons for doing stuff are always attached to my biggest obsessions.”
And yes, I use obsessions here because they’re one step past passions. An obsession will get you through difficulties and empty rooms (if you’re a creator like me) way more than a mere passion.
So how do you define your obsessions? Here’s a framework to try:
Create a list of all your interests
Narrow your interests down to your biggest passions
Narrow your passions down to your obsessions
If you’re still not sure, start testing your interests and pay attention to what resonates most and where your attention gravitates to.
For me, two of my core obsessions are blogging and making music. I show up for these things regardless of any money or traffic.
Explore more:
➤ My Favorite Creative Outlets
4. Identify Your Pain Points
Think about the stuff you lose sleep over or get most upset and anxious about. These are like fuel for a super strong why.
In sales and marketing, businesses often sell to consumers based on the idea that most people are simply trying to avoid some pain (big or small).
We buy food to avoid the pain of hunger, hire coaches to avoid mistakes and buy a bigger home to avoid clutter or cramped spaces.
Pain points are compelling reasons why we think and act in certain ways.
So what are your pain points? What do you avoid and what struggles do you have going on that you’d like to solve?
These are hints about your why.
5. List Your Inspiration(s)
“Stay away from those people who try to disparage your ambitions. Small minds will always do that, but great minds will give you a feeling that you can become great too.”
What inspires you? What makes your heart skip a beat and creates sparks of motivation in you?
Our inspirations are often attached to our why’s. For example, here are some common sources of inspiration:
Artists
Your family and friends
Epic stories, plays and movies
Really good books
Awesome creators
Certain travel destinations
The next time you’re inspired by some person, place or things, stop and ask yourself a simple followup question: why?
Double down on the answer.
6. Get Specific + Short
If your why is longwinded or difficult to explain, keep working at it. The more specific and concise you can get, the better.
For example, here’s my core why:
To prove — to show — that you’re never too late or too old to do it all.
So, what’s your one-sentence mission statement?
7. Take Action — Use it
“Imperfect action beats perfect inaction everyday of the week.”
If your why stays in your head, it loses its power. A strong why needs a project, a pursuit — it needs some action!
So if you’re stuck overthinking and over-planning, then stop. And just start.
Focus on momentum. Take the first step. Start a new routine and develop a habit.
A solid why is always attached to some action.
Explore more:
➤ Think + Talk Less (do more)
Later ✌️
Your why is your North Star. It’s what motivates you to keep showing up and putting in the reps when things feel bleak.
Some of my favorite ways to clarify my why are identifying my values, making it transformational, focusing on my obsessions, being specific and actually taking action.
But it’s also important to stay adaptable. Your why isn’t permanent, so don’t be surprised when things evolve.
Want More? Nice. Here’s More.
