Feeling Unfulfilled Sucks (so I created fulfillment buckets)

And it bears repeating: feeling unfulfilled sucks. But it’s totally normal – I mean, you’re definitely not alone. And this post outlines one of my favorite ways to feel more fulfilled.

It’s a strategy that uses what I like to call fulfillment buckets.

So let’s skip the small talk – let’s get it.

How I Find Fulfillment (by creating fulfillment buckets)

So, what is fulfillment, anyway?

It’s something that’s hard to define, and probably means something different for everyone. But this is my attempt at providing clarity.

For me, fulfillment is the ability to spend time filling your various life buckets. Life buckets are the areas in your life that are most important.

Personally, I focus on four main ones (for now):

• Personal fulfillment

• Career fulfillment

• Social fulfillment

• Mind fulfillment

The ultimate goal would be to crush it in all of these areas.

(with time and patience, I believe that’s possible)

But if you’re not sure where to start, it’s probably more helpful to just tackle one or two buckets at a time.

Once you develop a routine and new habits, you can chip away at each bucket more evenly.

And of course, just remember that your buckets may look completely different.

So feel free to borrow my ideas completely, but don’t be afraid to branch off and come up with your own.

Now let’s dig into these buckets in more detail (and how I like to fill them up to feel more fulfilled).

1. Personal Fulfillment

Everything starts with self. But what is personal fulfillment?

For me, personal fulfillment is simply doing things that make you happy, inspired and motivated.

I’ve realized that I feel most personally fulfilled when I’m pursuing my creative passions and growing as a creative person.

Whenever I’m not putting energy into these things, I feel a lack of fulfillment.

So my personal fulfillment looks like this:

• Making music

• Challenging myself as a musician and growing new skills

• Writing and turning fresh ideas into something tangible

• Doing creative things without any external pressure or vanity metrics

I should also note that personal fulfillment also hinges on fostering confidence, self love and self awareness.

Those are big topics and equally large feats that take a long time to master – but it’s one of the most exciting journeys to take.

2. Career Fulfillment

In general, we need to make money to live the life we want.

And learning about money and how it works (such as compounding through investing) is something that’s given me a lot of calmness in life, which further contributes to my fulfillment.

So money is important, and wanting more of it is pretty normal (and can be a fun pursuit).

But the main goal for this bucket is to reach a point where the thing you primarily do for money (your career) gives you fulfillment.

We spend a lot of our time making money, so prioritizing a career that’s personally motivating and satisfying is crucial for feeling more fulfilled overall.

For me, I’ve realized (similar to my personal fulfillment needs) that creativity needs to be a core part of my career fulfillment.

I’m currently working on building out assets that combine my passions, expertise and creativity. And it’s incredibly fun. But it takes a lot of work and patience (which is more than OK).

My career fulfillment also hinges on autonomy (being entrepreneurial – no boss) and being able to do more than one thing (I can’t identify with just one thing).

But that’s just me. And things may change over time.

Making money while being fulfilled is a fun endeavor, but can take a lot of focus, patience, trial and error and self reflection.

So what do you want to do?

3. Social Fulfillment

I’m on the fence between introversion and extroversion (like so many others).

But social fulfillment is a big factor for my overall fulfillment.

And I don’t mean social fulfillment for the sake of social fulfillment (to scratch some evolutionary itch of needing a tribe).

Filling this bucket is really contingent upon who you’re spending your time with and how that time is spent.

Great social fulfillment is spending time with people who inspire and motivate you.

Great social fulfillment is all about laughter, awesome conversation, expression and losing track of time.

This bucket may come from family, friends and sometimes, even complete strangers.

So take time to spend time with people.

Because one thing I think many of us have noticed (after working remotely and going through a pandemic) is that long-term isolation kind of sucks.

It’s great in small doses (I mean, who doesn’t love me time?), but it can get old pretty quick too.

So consider social fulfillment as a way to strengthen your overall fulfillment.

And don’t feel bad about cutting ties from relationships that aren’t fulfilling and focusing on a personal social style that makes you happy.

Because one person’s social fulfillment could mean meeting with a core friend at a cafe to discuss books.

But for another person, it could mean going to meetups every weekend and talking with strangers for hours on end.

Either way, creating a more fulfilling social life is healthy.

4. Mind Fulfillment

A lot of my feelings of fulfillment can be traced back to my mindset.

Because mindset and the mental frameworks we work within largely determine our experiences and perceptions of our reality.

Oof, I know – it’s getting deep here. But stay with me.

Mindset is everything, and can shape our life experiences and perspectives in powerful ways. The very feeling of unfulfillment is a matter of mindset and perspective.

But this advice can sort of sound cheap and reductionist (you know, “just change your mindset!”).

So I’ve put mindset into its own bucket, because mastering your mind will give you fulfillment, even if all the other buckets feel empty.

But at the same time, all of the buckets above can contribute to this mindful state of being.

So it’s all about balance and synergy I suppose.

I (currently) define mind fulfillment as honing abilities in:

• Calmness

• Mindfulness

• Gratitude

• Perspective

• Self awareness and acceptance

• Emotional fulfillment

Checking off those abilities is a lot.

But there’s one tool I use that’s been a huge help, and a catalyst for feeling more mentally fulfilled and skilled.

It’s my meditation routine.

I won’t get into a full tutorial on meditation and its various forms and ways to do it (I’m also far from being an expert on this).

But it’s something I can confidently recommend learning more about and trying out.

It’s a great way to achieve more fulfillment.

Bonus (finding your Ikigai)

Before we wrap things up, I feel that the Japanese concept of ikigai deserves attention.

After all, I am sitting in a Tokyo sharehouse room next to an old wooden shoji door as I write this post.

So what is ikigai?

You’ve probably gathered the meaning from the image above, but here’s a definition to tie things together.

Ikigai is basically the Japanese concept of your life purpose. It’s the thing worth living for.

Ikigai goes beyond financial purpose and includes the pursuit of hobbies, community engagement and avoiding isolation.

And there’s a lot of research that shows this way of life boasts a lot of longevity, health and happiness benefits.

So in searching for fulfillment, consider this: what is your ikigai?

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