Self-Pressure Be Gone (8 tips that work for me)
Self-pressure sucks. It’s terribly unhelpful and a questionable strategy for getting things done. But I suppose this self-imposed squeeze cannot be helped.
Or can it?
I think it can — with practice, intention and the right mindset.
This post shares my favorite moves for lessening the pressure I put on myself. I hope they can help you too.
But just remember, it’s okay to cut yourself a little slack every once in a while. Because you’re probably doing a lot better than you give yourself credit for.
So without further ado, let’s do this!
Table of Contents Show
What Is Self-Pressure?
Self-pressure self-imposed, inner pressure we put on ourselves. It’s the mind imagining expectations and thoughts and scenarios from people, places and things in life.
Self-imposed pressure creates stress and nervousness to not “fumble” the opportunity.
I think it’s fair to say that most of us have experienced self-pressure at some level. Especially if you’re an artist or creator. Creative anxiety is a serious bottleneck in authentic expression and fun.
And things like social media and comparison culture don’t exactly help.
So that’s why I wrote this post though — to share my experiences and help where I can.
So let’s keep moving.
Stop Putting So Much Pressure On Yourself (8 tips)
Those mountains you wear on your shoulders, you were only meant to climb them.
Ready to lessen that weight? Epic. Here are my top moves.
1. Define What’s Causing Your Self-Pressure
To fix a problem, you need to first identify what’s causing it.
So why are you feeling self-pressure?
What people, places, things or contexts in your life are creating inner pressure?
This a solid starting point. But it requires a bit of self reflection. So consider when and why you experience moments of pressure. What are you doing and who is nearby?
It can also help to categorize your self-pressure into buckets.
For example, work pressure vs. home life vs. personal life all have their own internal pressures and nuances. Organizing your causes this way will help you focus on one at a time rather than trying to fix everything all at once.
So with that, let’s move to the next tip — focus.
2. Don’t Be General — Pick One Area of Life
In my experience, self-pressure isn’t a general thing. So I don’t approach the problem with a general solution.
For example, trying to get rid of self-pressure within the whole context of your life is unrealistic. Because our lives are complex and have multiple departments, each with their own pressures and nuances.
So instead, narrow your focus and choose one specific area and one specific pressure point at a time.
Maybe it’s self-imposed pressure within a work context. Or maybe it’s inner pressure from creative pursuits and dreams.
Organize your life into buckets and identify specific pressures (and their causes) for each of your life’s department.
Then, pick one area to focus on at a time. This is a way more sustainable strategy.
3. Set Better Expectations
Unrealistic expectations and timelines create pressure. So let’s get rid of them.
We live in a short-form, on-demand world. So the tendency to think in days, minutes and seconds is strong.
Amazon delivers the same day, information is one click away and attention must be grabbed in nanoseconds.
Our subconscious mind is creating a story of quickness and short-cuts. This isn’t the way.
A lot of my self-pressure comes from unrealistic expectations of myself, which stem from short-from, on-demand paradigms that dominate the cultural psyche.
So the simple solution here is to be more realistic and patient. Here’s how:
Do less — prioritize things that you truly value and enjoy
Adjust your timelines — be more realistic and think in years, not months or days
Set more realistic expectations of yourself
Reverse engineer your big goals into smaller ones
4. Look to Successful People (before they had success)
Everyone starts as a beginner. And remembering this helps lessen the pressure to be better or “perfect”.
As a creator and artist/musician, it can be both inspiring and defeating to see incredible projects being done. On one hand, I’m motivated to make something beautiful myself.
On the other hand, I realize how much I don’t yet know. This is normal. And every great thing requires great effort.
But it’s all too easy to get caught up in unrealistic, unhelpful comparisons from curated content or snapshots of experts who spent decades honing their craft.
So let’s shift things.
I like to refocus my attention on the hero’s origin stories, failures and humble beginnings.
For example, whenever I feel bad that I don’t sound like a pitch-perfect American Idol winner when I sing, I can turn to this video of Ed Sheeran singing…well, poorly.
Or I can remind myself that Michael Jordan was moved to his JV team in high school by his coach, to sharpen his skills apparently.
Or the very fact that — according to Scientific American — failure is a necessary prerequisite before any success is realized.
There are countless examples.
And these things are incredibly helpful for alleviating that self-imposed pressure we all have.
So look to your personal icons and heroes, and explore their journey. Chances are, they dealt with more setbacks, stumbles and pressures than you may realize.
5. Start Meditating
Meditation calms the mind and relaxes the ego. Pressures melt away and you rewire your brain into a more chill place.
Meditation is a means to know thyself and to live more mindfully.
And it’s been incredibly helpful in lessening my self-pressure in life.
My meditation routine has helped me to slow down and have more control over myself, my breath and my body (and its urge to continuously get up and do something).
It’s changed how I deal self-imposed pressure or negative self talk (among many other benefits).
So start small in you’re new to it. But just start.
For example, simply listening to some chill music and focusing on your breath for 3-5 minutes is a great practice.
Alternatively, you can dabble in guided meditations or visualization work. Even yoga, hiking or painting are meditative acts. You just need to add some intention to the process.
So find a meditation that works for you, and build a new habit.
In time, you should notice your self-pressure feelings lessening.
6. Stack Your Deck
This one is simple but powerful: stack the cards in your favor.
This means creating an external environment that’s supportive and conducive to eliminating self-pressure issues.
Everything is context. So create one that’s helpful.
It’s hard to make a change or stay inspired if your environment and the people you spend time with are having a negative effect on your mood, motivation or view of yourself.
So here are three core areas I like to focus on:
My inner circle
Who do you spend time with? Do they help or worsen your self-imposed pressure?
My outer circle
Who do you listen to and what types of content do you consume?
My environment
What sights, sounds, smells and atmosphere are you surrounded by? Is it motivating or does it add to your stress?
7. Fall In Love With “Failure”
I love failure. I embrace failure.
Truth be told, I’m quite good at failure.
This requires an intentinoal mindset, but I welcome mistakes as learning opportunities and I see them as growth signals.
And adopting this framework is a solid way to suppress those feelings of self-pressure.
A love of failure requires being process-oriented. It means you have patience and an appreciation for setbacks, since they are simply checkpoints along the road.
There are no finish lines and every goal is just a milestone.
As you likely know, the journey to perceived success is never linear.
It twists and turns like a drunk roller coaster.
It’s a story. A movie. A video game. And it’s good creative play.
Failure humbles me and provides insights that only experience can teach.
So I say, embrace your failures.
Because they’re not failures. They’re stepping stones to something more.
You just need to stick around long enough to find out what.
8. Prioritize Self Care
Self care should always be a priority. Without a healthy mind, body and spirit, we stumble.
So never feel bad about carving out time for yourself. Here are some ways I like to do self care:
Eat foods that agree with my body (not just the trends)
Take a guilty pleasures trip
Prioritize sleep
Learn to say no
Recognize burnout and step away for breaks
Meditate and stay chill in life
Well, that’s all I’ve got for you on this one.
Later ✌️
Want More? Okay. Here’s More.
