What Would You Tell Your Younger Self? (21 things I’d say)
If you had some sort of magic time-traveling telephone, what would you tell your younger self? Would younger you even listen? It’s hard to say, but the advice I came up with is helpful even for my present life.
So these are the core things I would tell my younger self (and things that I’m reminding my present self of, so I can look out for my future self).
So many selves to manage here…
But let’s wrap up the chit chat – let’s get it.
1. Be the Person You Need to Follow
I’m kicking things off with some solid advice: be the person you needed when you were younger.
This advice still applies to me right now. And often, the content I’m creating is the content I need.
It helps to visualize the answers, solutions and people we’re seeking value from.
We tend to have more answers than we realize. So may as well be our own best inspiration.
2. There Are No Finish Lines
The idea of working towards some finish line, and then just stopping once you reach it sounds a bit ridiculous.
Yet, we often still think in these terms.
Having goals and reaching them is amazing and exciting – but the goal post is always moving and new goals are constantly popping up.
If there weren’t some next goal to be working towards, then life would get a bit boring (in my personal opinion).
So I like to reframe goals and objectives as being more like checkpoints rather than some finish line.
3. Success + Creativity Are Not Races
Whether it’s my creative pursuits or success in general, it’s not a race.
One of the biggest revelations I’ve had (which feels a bit obvious now) is that rushing things always makes them worse.
Patience is the secret sauce to amazing content, music, videos, creativity, etc.
Patience is one of the “secrets” to success. I think we all know the mantra – patience is a virtue.
But it’s hard out here, and this idea flies in the face of an in-demand, short-form diet.
But at the end of the day, my advice is this:
For long-term success and happiness, stay patient and play the long game.
4. Everyday Can’t Be A Home Run
Some days are going to suck – there’s no way around it.
It’s strange how one day I can feel on top of all my stuff – like I’m crushing it and just sticking all my landings.
Then the next day, things just seem to be falling apart.
I’ve learned to accept and warmly welcome both the good and the bad days. This is way more sustainable and a healthier framework to operate from.
Because the laws of nature require balance – yin and yang, duality, light and dark…the good and the bad.
So remember younger self (or intrepid reader), everyday can’t be a home run.
5. Don’t Attach Quality to Creativity or Early Stages
Rough drafts and first steps are rarely the highest quality. Again, I think we all intuitively know this – but tend to forget.
It doesn’t help that our home feeds are generally full of experts making things look easy or curated content that portrays filtered perfection as the typical day in the life.
But we’re smarter than this. We know the truth.
Don’t attach quality or earlier stages of trying something new to comparative quality metrics.
And don’t attach quality to creativity – which is more like playing in the mud and unhinged self expression.
Every expert started as a beginner and every creative breakthrough had countless iterations before reaching its best version or serendipitous aha! moment.
6. Detach Success + Creativity From Metrics or Money
While we’re detaching things from other things, let’s talk about money and metrics.
We live in a metric-centric world. Likes, hearts, comments and engagement seem to be running the show.
But this can lead to a lot of creative anxiety, stress and unhelpful comparison feedback loops.
So my advice to my younger self would be to not attach value to the metrics.
Create and try things – not for likes and comments, but for creativity, fun and intuition.
I know, easier said than done. But it’s worth pursuing.
7. Don’t Wait for Inspiration
Waiting for the right moment – when that coveted inspiration strikes – is a horrible strategy.
Try as we might, but motivation is fleeting and inspiration is unreliable.
I mean, we can practice these things and get better at controlling and honing them – but they’ll never be a sound strategy on their own for getting things done.
So my advice to my younger self is this: don’t rely on inspiration to take action and get things done.
Develop discipline by using a workflow, stacking the deck in your favor and getting specific about what you want and why.
8. Stop Waiting for “the Right Moment”
I still fall into this trap from time to time. I still naively believe that circumstances will improve if I just wait a little longer.
So I guess this is advice I’d give to both my younger self and present me.
Don’t wait for the perfect moment, or the perfect skills, or the perfect video, or the perfect whatever – just start.
Taking action is the key to growth, skill building and getting more done.
A difference in talent is often just a difference in how someone spends their free time – waiting around for the right moment, or just taking action.
So, stop waiting for the “right moment” – it’ll never come.
9. Not Everyone Is Your Audience
This next piece of advice stems from my experiences building a brand and creating music.
It’s advice that I still need to semi regularly remind myself of.
Not everyone is in your audience.
Or, put another way, you can’t make everyone happy.
Getting feedback, haters, criticism or just being completely ignored is inevitable. And it’s OK. Learning to accept, expect and even this reality is a key skill.
It reminds me of a quote, “the only way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing and be nothing.”
10. Practice Delayed Gratification
Patience is crucial for creativity, happiness and success.
So my next piece of advice I'd give to my younger self is to get really good at the art of delayed gratification.
This is the ability to postpone a reward or some type of praise. It’s patience with a growth mindset.
Being able to not rush through projects, life and daily affairs is an artisan skill in this modern world.
Happily sharing my music and creative pursuits everyday to an empty (digital) room where no one is paying attention to you is valuable.
Because growth takes time. It takes delayed gratification and the ability to not look for shortcuts.
Pushing back my expectations, time horizons and sense of urgency for some reward has been a great tool in my life.
11. Practice Mindfulness (daily)
Mindfulness isn’t just a buzzword.
It’s something that’s been a serious game changer in my life – especially for my mental wellbeing and mindset.
I usually practice mindfulness through my meditation routine, but I’ve noticed the more I become aware, the easier and more common it is.
What I mean is, practicing mindfulness used to require more conscious effort.
But recently, my subconscious and default state has been becoming increasingly mindful and in the present moment.
I suppose all that meditation practice is paying off.
12. Stop Underestimating Yourself
As a musician, I’ve always struggled with imposter syndrome.
And a big part of that was always underestimating myself and my abilities or knowledge.
I guess I still deal with these annoyances from time to time – but I wish I could tell my younger self to ease up on the whole self doubt script.
Often, the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves aren’t the most helpful, or accurate for that matter.
So I like to rewrite my script whenever I can. We are after all, the lead characters.
I guess it’s important to not overestimate ourselves either, so balance is key.
I see things as a sort of calm confidence – and it’s an asset I use everyday.
13. Build A Reputation of Reliability
It’s been said many times, but talk is cheap.
I’ve been the worst offender of making bold claims and big promises, only to never follow through.
I mean, I get it – it feels good in the moment. The temporary praise and applause we get from friends and family (sometimes strangers you’ve just met) is a high.
But empty promises are cheap. And talking is a weak currency.
So creating a reputation of accountability and reliability – someone who follows through with what they say they’re going to do – is clutch.
And that’s my advice to my younger self: don’t talk so much, unless you can back things up with some action (at least most of the time, for the big stuff).
Staying low key has its perks too.
14. Most People Aren’t Thinking About You…
I love this one – it’s liberating.
Most people aren’t thinking about you as much as you think they are.
It can sound a bit harsh at first, but if we let it marinate for a little while longer, it feels a bit like a relief – and something we can sort of laugh at.
I mean, how often do you think about people in the way you think people about you?
There’s a quote I got from ‘Think Like A Monk’ by Jay Shetty that goes: “I am not what I think I am, and I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am.”
It’s deep – but let that sink in.
15. It’s OK to Pick + Choose Different Friends
I’ve been pretty lucky for the most part here. Most of my friends have all been amazing – and I keep in touch with many of them still.
But branching out, knowing when to cut ties or how to build new bridges can be difficult.
Finding the right people in your life is hard.
But curating your social circle is essential for your own personal growth, development and overall happiness.
So my advice here is simple: don’t feel bad if friendships fizzle or if you want to explore different groups who motivate you in different ways – ways that are more aligned with your goals and interests.
For example, I didn’t have too many musician friends growing up – but I sometimes wonder, if I did branch out more, if I would have played more live shows or done more creative things…
16. Try to Listen More Than You Speak
There’s this quote on listening that goes something like: “when you talk, you’re only repeating what you already know…”
I like this. I think it perfectly sums up this next piece of advice to my younger self.
Listen more than you speak, because the ability to actively and really listen is a great skill.
As another quote goes (I know, I love quotes I guess): “most people don’t listen with the intent to understand, they listen with the intent to respond.”
We have a lot of distractions and ideas swirling around in our minds.
So the ability to truly be present and listen is an awesome skill to hone.
17. Aim to Give More Than You Take
I have this (perhaps naive) idea, that if everyone just gave more than they took, we’d have universal abundance.
Let’s not get into the details of my grand plan, but the concept is still great advice for my younger self.
Learning to give first, at scale, with no expectation of anything in return is some advanced humaning.
And it’s a great way to build something – relationships, a brand, trust…
So resist the constant temptations to take first and opt for more selfless choices, give more than you need to (whether that’s time, money or value – whatever you’ve got).
18. Perfection Isn’t Real (so stop chasing it)
The perfect project, artwork, lifestyle, diet and idea are out there, right?
I’m not convinced (even though I still try to chase this unicorn).
I think continuous improvement and optimization are better pursuits (the Japanese business art of kaizen).
Also, everyone’s different. What lifestyle, diet and creative styles work for me don’t necessarily work for you.
As another example, sometimes songs that I write and think are absolute bangers on one day will feel flat the very next day.
So perfection is a subjective interpretation and a moving target. But this should be cathartic (just like #14 above).
We don’t need perfection and constant homeruns to reach success or goals.
The Pareto Principle states that ~80% of our outcomes or results come from ~20% of the work.
So that’s my advice: stop trying to be perfect across the board – embrace mistakes and focus on continuous improvement instead.
19. Compounding Is Real (small actions add up)
While we’re on the theme of continuous improvement, let’s talk about the compound effect.
It can be hard to stay patient. It can be hard to see how small daily steps add up over time.
But great things generally take a long time.
And great results or successes are really just the culmination of a million smaller things, moments and choices from just showing up day in and day out.
Compounding is real and taking incremental movements forward creates massive changes over a long enough time horizon.
It’s just math.
20. Don’t Rely On Just One Single Source of Information of Inspiration
Cross referencing information is a skill I honed in university – but it’s a practice that I continually apply in my life.
Whether I’m researching competition and ranking opportunities for keywords or writing a new post, I use multiple sources of information.
Similarly, no single person will have every answer that’s perfectly made for you, your goals and your situation.
I love having passive mentors (people who don’t know me, but I still use them as inspiration), but I don’t have just one.
I find inspiration from some parts of many people – usually not 100% from just one person (caveats excluded). Because I am me, and I’m trying to make my own story here.
So take the nuggets where you find them, and piece them together to write your own truth.
21. Learn How Money Works
Learning how money works has been one of the greatest investments of my time.
I don’t know everything about money or investing (duh).
But I do know enough to understand what my goal for wealth is, how to build financial freedom, how investing works and how to make your money work for you.
So this is my last advice to my younger self – learn how money, finance and investing works earlier.
It’s an invaluable skill.
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So that’s a wrap for this list.
But how about you – what would you tell your younger self?
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