How Successful People Grow (10 themes I see)
This post is a list of the top success themes I see pop up over and over. But it’s also a letter to myself – a reminder for what to focus on. This is how successful people grow.
But who am I? And am I successful?
Or rather, what does it even mean to be successful?
All great questions (and this post starts out with a quick discussion on defining success).
But the main point I’d like to highlight here is I don’t have all the answers.
I mean, no single person will have all the answers, perfectly customized for you, your situation and your preferences.
So you can see this list as a reflection of what’s inspiring me currently and how I personally define and view success.
But things – as things do – will inevitably evolve and change.
So let me know in the comments of any other success metrics you’ve got – I’d love to read them!
Otherwise, let’s move things along – let’s get it.
1. They Clearly Define Their Success
The first place to start for success and growth is defining what it means for you.
Because, as you know, success means something different for everyone.
So one of the most obvious ways successful people grow is by having a clear definition for what success means to them.
For example, having more money is a pretty common success metric.
But so could raising a family, loving your work more or just having more time and location independence to travel freely.
However you define success, growing as a human person hinges on clearly defining what it means for you.
2. They Know Their Values
Understanding your values makes defining and finding success much easier.
Because if you don’t value money at all, then making more money probably isn’t the best way to succeed for you.
But it can be surprisingly difficult to know what you truly care about. It takes time, experience and some serious self reflection.
For me, some of my core values (as of writing this post) are creativity, growth, health, authenticity and autonomy.
So any time I feel unsuccessful or like I’m losing focus and motivation, I do a quick acid test to see whether the things I’m doing (or my current situation) align with my values or not.
If they do, I start feeling better. If not, I have some fresh insights for what to do next.
If you’re not sure about what your values are, you can take a free test at personalvalu.es. It’s the site I used and should give you some clarity on what you care about.
3. They’ve Got North Stars
Another key ingredient for a strong success foundation is having clearly defined goals.
Successful people grow because they have north stars.
Knowing how you define success and what your values are won’t mean much if you don’t have a use or purpose for them.
North stars are objectives, and can be both professional or personal. They’re the reason we do the things we do.
Personally, I prefer to reframe goals as checkpoints – since there are no finish lines, really (i.e., our goal posts are always moving and evolving).
But having a specific goal keeps your daily actions aligned and intentional.
I try to work on just one or two goals at a time.
I only focus on new goals once my current goals become automated or habitual.
For example, my main creative goal (as of spring 2023) is to finally start releasing finished songs onto Spotify.
Of course, this is a lifelong thing I’ll be doing – I mean, I’ll never stop making music.
But right now, I’m still early and need to improve my workflow and music production skills so I can finish up my first batch of songs to release.
Once this becomes more routine, I’ll shift my focus slightly and add in my next goals.
4. They Try + Fail (often)
Once you have your goals clearly defined, the next step is action.
This is the hard part. Because first steps and iterations are rarely…good.
But the only way to grow forward is to try and fail, often. Trying new things usually involves a lot of trial and error.
Successful people grow by trying and failing often – without losing (too much) motivation or self belief.
They know that this is the process – the only way out is through.
Shortcuts, quick fixes and overnight successes sound great – but the reality is great things take time.
People don’t realize how long it takes to become an overnight success.
We see the influencer blow up overnight or the startup company that suddenly gets massive traction.
What we don’t see is the hundreds of hours (or years) of practice, making mistakes, having awkward moments on camera, gaining experience, putting out failed products or pursuing unsuccessful ventures before the successful product or video hits.
(of course, there are outliers to this rule, as with anything…)
But the tip of the iceberg usually gets all the photos and attention, even though the body of the iceberg is much bigger – it’s just hidden below the surface and out of sight.
5. They Listen + Stay Open
Listening is an amazing skill.
There’s a quote that goes like this: “Most people don’t listen with the intent to understand, they listen with the intent to respond”.
Getting good at truly hearing people is an art.
Also, when you focus on listening more than speaking, you’re learning more than everyone else.
Because after all, when we speak, we’re just repeating what we already know (or what we think we know).
Along with great listening and observational skills is the ability to have a beginner’s mindset.
This is – somewhat paradoxically – an advanced skill.
For me, a beginner’s mindset means you’re not too dogmatic in your thinking – you stay flexible.
You’re willing to hear fresh information and challenge your beliefs when new evidence presents itself.
Successful people listen often and are open to new information, even if it goes against their beliefs or best interests.
6. They Ignore (but also listen to) the Noise
Ah, the “noise”. You know how the advice usually goes here, “ignore it”.
Fair enough, but should we sometimes listen to it?
I mean, are there no clues in this naysaying noise?
I think there are – but it’s a balancing act.
On one hand, ignoring the haters and just doing you is valid advice.
But on the other hand (and from a more entrepreneurial perspective), we should analyze the noise for clues on what’s working and what’s not.
Noise can be insightful, as long as we can separate our self worth and attachment from it.
Because, successful people can move between listening to the noise (using it as feedback for improvement), and ignoring it (knowing when the noise is unjust or inaccurate).
This requires self belief, confidence and the right mindset.
On a similar note, sometimes there’s no noise at all.
For example, in the early stages of some new venture. It’s just silence and echoes as you vulnerably put yourself out there – but no one seems to care.
It can be hard to keep going, for months (or even years) on end, with limited feedback or results.
But successful people can grow out of silence just as well as noise.
It’s their ability to show up, whether someone is watching or not, and not needing any external validation or approval to keep pushing forward.
7. They Practice Self Care
Success means nothing if you don’t have your health and wellbeing.
So successful people grow by taking care of their mind, body and spirit.
Self care for me includes:
Physical self care
Social self care
Mental self care
“Other”
(let’s call this “existential” self care)
For physical self care, this comes down to eating good foods that are healthy and suited for my body and genes.
Social self care is laughing and hanging around people who inspire me or make me happy.
Mental self care is all about mindset, perspective and attitude.
“Other” is the ability to zoom out, get existential and see the bigger picture in life, the universe and everything in between (I usually blend science, quantum physics and meditation for this).
8. They Focus On Giving + Adding Value
If everyone focused on taking more than giving, nothing would be left.
But if everyone focused on giving more than taking, we’d have a surplus.
Successful people understand that the way to sell more, make more money, build connections and become more successful is by giving and adding unmatched value.
This is how you build brand, authority and trust over the long term.
If you focus on adding high quality value to someone (or the market), at scale, for a long enough period of time, people will start asking you how they can give back or pay for something.
Bad sales and marketing tactics always have a take-first approach.
But sales and marketing that focus on adding uncompromised value will usually leave customers asking “where can I buy?”.
But at the end of the day, giving and adding value are simply way more fulfilling.
If you’ve ever spent time volunteering, doing something altruistic (with no expectation of anything in return), you’ll know the high you get from it.
Success from money can feel good – but only for a bit.
It’s the law of diminishing returns, the more you get, the more you need to feel the same level of excitement.
So if there did exist a shortcut to sustainable success, adding value and giving without an expectation of a return is probably the answer.
9. They Practice Gratitude
Gratitude is another soft skill successful people have and use for growth.
I don’t think I need to hammer on this point too much – it’s pretty straightforward.
But practicing gratitude (through perspective shifts) is incredibly helpful to stay motivated and to feel successful.
Chances are, your current situation – even if you haven’t met any of your goals – is someone else’s dream life.
Reflect on this fact and success feels closer than you may realize.
But that’s just my take on things.
10. Patience, Delayed Gratification + Long-Term Thinking
Patience, delayed gratification and long-term thinking are some of the most important tools to have in your success kit.
Because they’re really the core bedrock things required for success.
There’s a simple truth to the way things work.
If you do something – anything – for long enough, and with enough intention, you will become successful at it.
If you plant a seed, and water it in the right environment, and do this consistently for a long enough period of time, a plant grows and blossoms.
The same is for our goals and pursuits.
Not to sound too reductionist or anything, but a lot of failure or feelings of unsuccess can be boiled down to a lack of patience, rushing results and misaligned expectations.
But even doing something at a rate of just 1% per day will compound over time and you will get good at that thing.
It’s really the only outcome. The things we give our energy and attention to are the things that grow. It’s simple input-output math.
So find your values, create good workflows and build solid habits.
Success is just on the other side of all that.
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