The Fallacy of Approval: 10 Great (facetious) Tips
This post uses reverse thinking to uncover fresh insights on the fallacy of approval. Because thinking of ways to make something worse (not better) is an easier way to discover solutions. Often, the answers feel super obvious. This’ll be fun.
Put another way (and full disclaimer), this post is facetious. But on the other side of that sarcasm is insight. So please disregard any snarky or snobbish tones.
Now let’s do this!
What Is the Fallacy of Approval?
The fallacy of approval is a false belief that some external, outside approval is needed. It’s feeling like you need approval from others to go and do your thing.
But this is ridiculous — right?
Most of us intuitively know this is a bogus idea. ‘Just do you’ is ingrained into our cultural psyche. And yet, it’s still super hard to avoid this thinking trap completely.
Getting approval still feels really good. And this snowballs to wanting more. Social media is a loop and it’s hard to break.
So let’s use inversion thinking to uncover ways to avoid it. Let’s get sarcastic.
Explore more:
➤ Making Social Media Fun Again
The Fallacy of Approval (10 surefire ways to fall into its grip)
*Remember, these ideas are super sarcastic…
(so do the opposite)
1. Compare Yourself to Others More Often
One of the best ways to fall for an approval fallacy is to start comparing yourself to others more often. Bonus points if you can make those comparisons super unrealistic.
For example, if you're a beginner, you should definitely compare yourself to someone who is years ahead of you — or even decades.
Notice how much better they are than you.
This is a great way to make an approval fallacy stick.
Luckily, comparison culture and social media make this pretty simple.
But just remember, getting hearts, comments and shares are the only things that truly matter — and this validation it’s definitely required if you want to continue pursuing something.
2. Have A Stubborn Fixed Mindset
“People with a growth mindset usually don’t look for external validation, so we definitely want to avoid this by having a fixed line of thinking.”
If you’re new to fixed thinking, it’s pretty easy to start.
Just start believing that your skills, knowledge and abilities cannot be improved.
Also be sure the science of brain plasticity, which proves that our brains are adaptable, changeable and able to create new neural pathways (aka, you can learn and do new things at any age).
Fixed thinking is essentially a lack of belief in yourself, since you believe your skills and knowledge are fixed and unable to be improved upon.
This is perfect for strengthening a fallacy of approval.
And another bonus of fixed thinking is you tend to seek out evidence and outside approval in the negative, which will further reinforce false beliefs about yourself.
You know, when you try something new, and you’re not good at it straight away, so we say things like, “see, I knew I wasn’t cut out for this”.
Perfect. If you’re not good right away, then give up. :]
3. Definitely Have Shiny Object Syndrome
Strengthening your shiny object syndrome is a fantastic way to fall deeper into the fallacy of approval trap.
Luckily, it’s also pretty easy to get started (since everything looks like an opportunity).
A quick trip down a YouTube rabbit hole or two gives me plenty of targets to aim for.
And constantly shifting focus from one opportunity to the next means we’re never giving our full attention to anything to let it fully develop.
This approach is perfect because every new opportunity is really just a form of fresh outside approval, telling us that this new venture is the best, most valid one.
Telling us that we’re in the right place and making the right choice.
But once you hit that inevitable point of friction, where the opportunity gets difficult and less fun, all we need to do is shift our focus to the next shiny object.
Simple!
There’s nothing more enticing and rewarding than finding that next 16-minute video promising to make you rich, talented or successful in the next 30 days.
4. Constantly Undervalue Yourself
“Don’t believe in yourself too much! That’s no way to fall for the fallacy of approval.”
Undervaluing your skills, knowledge and expertise is a great way to boost your appetite for outside approval.
Luckily, social media comparisons, stories of young millionaires crushing it and just a general sense of everyone doing better than you makes this tip also pretty easy.
Undervaluing yourself can lead to missed opportunities, inaction and undercharging yourself for services and work.
This is closely related to underestimating yourself — which is another great way to add some fuel to an approval fallacy.
So if you’re feeling like you’re not quite up to snuff, just remember to hold onto that feeling to ensure you fall into the fallacy of approval trap, every time.
5. Have a Big, Unhinged Ego
Ego is a great way to strengthen a fallacy of approval. It loves outside approval and a big one can give you lots of rogue sense of self importance. This is perfect.
Outside approval begets more outside approval.
And the ego is never satisfied — more, more and more is what’s needed.
So it’s really helpful to grow your ego as big as possible and to rely on external validation as much as possible. This is a surefire way to fall into a fallacy of approval trap.
6. Blame Atychiphobia
Atychiphobia is a close relative to the fallacy of approval. But more importantly, atychi…huh?
Atychiphobia is the fear of failure (a term I did not know before writing this post).
Leveraging and blaming a fear of failure is a great way to fall deep into the pit of fallacy of approval. Because a fear of failure is always looking for security, validation and evidence.
Really what we have here is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Because the fear of failure creates inaction, which ultimately creates the very failure we fear.
A fear of failure leads us to rely on some external approval to take the proverbial plunge. With great fear comes great hesitation (and a need for outside guarantees).
So hold on tight to that atychiphobia, it’ll come in handy.
7. Believe Your Imposter Syndrome
“Imposter syndrome — feeling like a fraud — can act as a major boost to thinking you need outside approval.”
I deal with my own imposter syndrome as a creative, so I can tell you, outside approval is definitely something that finally makes me feel like I belong (if only for a moment).
If you’re already dealing with imposterous feelings, that’s great. You just need to focus more of your attention on it.
And if you’ve never felt like a fraud, don’t worry — anyone can do it!
You can start by simply making a list of all your weaknesses and focusing intently on only those things and how everyone else is probably much better.
This will inevitably lead to feeling like you’re not good enough, which will inevitably lead to a need for more outside approval before moving forward.
Goal achieved. And speaking of goals…
8. Do Not Have A Concrete Goal or Vision
Moving forward without a concrete goal can feel aimless — and outside approval is the perfect companion for these lonely journeys.
It’s normal to not always have everything figured out in the earlier stages of some pursuit, where exploration and testing are important.
But keeping this exploratory status quo for too long is a great strategy for an approval fallacy.
All you need to do is prolong this initial exploration stage, indefinitely. Or at least, change your goals often (especially when things get hard and motivation runs dry).
Because without a concrete goal or vision (grounded in personal values), cravings for outside approval will inevitably grow.
Especially when things aren’t working out and you’re experiencing some type of failure or setback.
These moments are the ideal breeding ground for the fallacy of approval.
Because without personal goals or a vision to attach your efforts to, the only metric you have left is external.
Perfect.
9. If At First You Don’t Succeed, Then Quit
If you’re trying something new, and you’re not good at it immediately (or you don’t see results quickly), just quit.
This is a perfect way to fall into the fallacy of approval trap.
And it’s so simple. If at first you don’t have success, just stop.
The fallacy of approval dictates that we need some outside approval or validation to do the thing we want to do. So quitting early and quitting often is a great way to strengthen this way of thinking and living.
Explore more:
➤ How to Keep Going When you Want to Quit
10. Listen to People Who Haven’t Done What you Want to Do
Another fantastic way to make outside approval even stronger is to seek out approval from incongruent sources.
That is to say, listen to more people whose goals and experiences are lesser than yours.
It’s like this, if you don’t want to build a billion dollar business, ask and listen to all the people who have never built a billion dollar business.
They’ll give all of their best reasons for how not to do it, and why it’s an impossible dream you should just abandon.
And when it comes to falling into the fallacy of approval trap more often, this is a great strategy.
Listening to someone whose objectives and values are smaller than yours inevitably causes you to doubt yourself and look for even more outside approval (to of course disprove that initial feedback).
Mission accomplished.
Want More? Nice. Here’s More.
