This is the Secret to Success (why I never “succeeded”)
Over the past 5(ish) years, I’ve done a lot. I’ve published over 300 blogs, written hundreds of songs (including a song-a-day challenge in 2023), started and grew 3 websites, took on writing clients through Upwork, broke into the digital marketing space as a freelancer in SEO/content strategy/publishing, traveled in Japan (a lot…), got more confident with music production and singing, started a meditation routine, found some clarity…and lots more.
And yet, somehow, I seem to have fallen behind.
I have less money from when I started and most of my projects have either remained stagnant or become vacant due to algorithm updates (my Upwork account even got flagged recently because a client mentioned moving off platform for better rates).
I’m left with virtually no clients and website traffic that’s slowly dwindling more each day — all while I’m continuing to push out fresh content and pursue this dream of mine, when (still) nobody seems to care.
So, what gives?
Am I doing things wrong?
And more importantly, what do I do moving forward?
Do I double down on what’s clearly not working — or do I make a change?
Maybe you can relate to some of this — it’s a familiar road, bumpy and full of obstacles. But this is the secret to success.
Rest easy knowing that if you’re also struggling with slow results, zilch for growth and no outward “success”, you’re definitely not alone. In fact, you’re in good company.
This is the journey.
Table of Contents Show
Success is a Journey (not a destination)
I see my past few years as a necessary phase in my creative life — for testing, exploration and growth.
Because as corny as it sounds, success is a journey — not a place or some final destination.
Success — growth — is never linear. And you don’t fully appreciate (or believe) this reality until you’ve actually lived it. But it’s how we all pay our dues.
If something is too easy, there is no growth (it is called growing pains, after all).
And to be perfectly honest, recently I’ve been using a lot of my content creation projects as a form of procrastination. I’ve writing and talking about creative projects more than actually doing them. It was an illusion of productivity.
So I’m happy things didn’t quite work out like I’d hoped for — because now I’m forced to focus on the things I’ve been avoiding.
Now that I have this epic gift of hindsight, I can clearly look backwards and see exactly why I’ve been struggling so much and not succeeding in my many ventures.
This is why I never succeeded.
Why I never succeeded
“I was trying to do everything, everywhere, all at once — while giving the things I truly wanted only half my energy”
I always had a fear of putting in the work needed to pursue my true passions. It wasn’t just creative laziness.
I had a deep-seated fear of failure and making mistakes. And I knew that it was going to be a hard and painful journey to fine-tune my skills, put myself out there, look dumb and deal with lots of rejection.
But even beyond this big internal battle, I had another issue.
I was trying to do everything, everywhere, all at once. My focus was split between various projects and so, my energy was forced to ration between them.
I couldn’t commit to any single thing — not fully, at least. I had one foot in the door on way too many doors.
So now, I’m letting go of all the things that don’t align — let go or be dragged, as they say?
The more I let such things fall away, the more I feel space opening up (in my mind and in my daily schedule).
It’s refreshing. And it feels like flow.
So I’m committing to a singular focus (more or less).
Here’s a before/after of my life to highlight the power of this shift.
This was my focus BEFORE
3 blogs
2 Instagrams
X
2 Newsletters
A YouTube channel (while setting up a second one to launch)
Teaching ESL online
Doing regular work as a freelancer
Pursuing lots of goals:
Art
Music
Start a creative agency
Make travel videos/films
Find more writing/SEO clients
Create more vlogging videos
Grow 3 blogs (it used to be 4)
Affiliate marketing for various programs
Create digital products (printables, art prints, etc.)
Write 4 ebook freebies (still sitting as unfinished documents)
Sell on Etsy (digital products, Squarespace templates, etc.)
Launch a new Creator Growth program by the new year
There are probably more side quests and random weekend obsessions I’ve all but forgotten about. But you get the point — it’s a lot!
And the result of all this effort? Not much.
I received no tangible results or growth. And I somehow still felt like I was doing nothing. All I got was mental and emotional exhaustion and lots of stress and frustration.
Because I knew deep down I wasn’t pursuing the things I really wanted — not fully at least…
(*Note: I did grow A LOT though, gaining new skills, insights and clarity!)
This is my focus NOW
1 Instagram (*maybe YT)
Art + music (while traveling, of course 😁)
Capturing the journey as passion content creation
Singular, aligned focus is my priority now. And I believe that is the secret to success.
Because honestly, look at my new focus list — doesn’t it just look and feel way better, more feasible and overall less stressful?!
Of course, I’m also still doing my work work (freelancing) in the meantime (I got bills!). But I’m investing in — nay, I’m betting on — myself moving forward.
I’m going all-in on one thing — the thing that I actually truly want, deep down. I am an artist; a creator and a musician.
I believe this is the secret and if you’re struggling with growth, it could help to consider this.
I’ve always had a fear of failure — of embarrassment. And I always got distracted by too many shiny objects. I fell for self-limiting beliefs, thinking I needed to pursue a “safe” route (like freelancing in SEO or writing for business clients) — you know, something secure and stable.
But let’s be real, that was boooorrrrrring! (at least, it was for me — for other people, this may be perfect).
But for me, this “safe” work feels like nails on a chalkboard. And yet, I kept on pursuing it (with half-baked energy), because I thought it was the only way to find sustainable financial freedom and independence (just so I could finally do art and music full-time).
But that was all bullshit. Because that path never worked out at all for me, and I felt incredibly misaligned, unhappy and often angry while doing it.
I learned lots of tangible skills like writing, SEO and branding, so I don’t regret it. But I cannot continue with it. And that decision has sparked what I can only describe as a successful timeline.
If you believe in signs or signals at all, I’m pretty sure this is a big one:
When you’re doing something for years, watching everyone else around you do the same thing, following the same path and using the same formulas as you, only to succeed much quicker while you struggle for scraps and are left behind feeling drained and unhappy…maybe it’s because that thing is not meant for you. At least, not in the way you think it is.
It’s hard to know when to double down (with discipline) and when to move on. Intuition helps here. So does testing, self awareness and patience.
But I think I know what to do now.
And so, fine. I’ll pivot — message received, universe! 😅
Focus is Believing in Yourself (doing too much is doubting yourself)
When you create a plan B (or in my case, a plan B, C, D, E, F and G), you’re setting yourself up to fail at plan A. You’re allowing yourself to let things not work out. You’re almost expecting for things to not happen.
And I get it, safety nets feel good.
But when you give yourself no backup plan, you give yourself no choice but to make things happen. There’s no plan B, so this thing must work out. The trail you take and the strategies you adopt can always change, but the goal, that remains.
A little bit of delusion and unwavering belief in your daydreams is healthy here.
“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.”
Now, there is of course a time and a place to NOT focus and instead try many things.
For example, early on, when you’re not sure what you even want to do, testing is critical to know what aligns most or to find what works best.
Also, if you’re multi-passionate (like me), the thought of a singular focus is daunting. But for growth, I’m finding out it’s powerful.
You can do anything, you just can’t do everything — at least, not all at once.
So focus on just one thing. Go all in and act as if this is your only option. And if you must stack multiple things, make them related and complementary.
Stacking passions is actually an awesome strategy to stand out and be more authentic.
For example, I’m technically focusing on multiple things — art, music and travel. But I’m blending them all together to make unique creative projects that are true to me. I make music about my art, which is also about my music and my travels. They all feed into each other like a creative loop, and represent my authenticity as a human creator.
My content (whether that’s a newsletter, a YT video, a blog post or an IG Reel) simply captures the nuances, insights and process.
This is an example of layering diverse passions or subjects on top of each other for a new and more unique result. This is an epic way to differentiate yourself as an artist, creator, personal brand, entrepreneur, etc. This is how you start to create your true and authentic niche of one.
Explore more:
➤ Multibranding for Creators
The Art of Focus (some dang tips)
“I can’t solve your focus issues or help you find perfect clarity in a single newsletter post. Everyone is different and everything is nuanced. But I can share with you what I’m doing that’s helping me.”
This is how I focus.
Do What You Truly Want
Long-term focus is going to be hard — near impossible — if you’re not doing what you truly want to do — what’s truly deep in your soul and heart’s fucking desire.
This was one of my biggest issues (not betting on myself). I was focusing on too many paths that were really just clever distractions to avoid the things I truly wanted.
For example, starting a creative/SEO agency sounds “smarter” than trying to become an artist. But…it’s not for me.
Technically, pursuing travel, music and art could be seen as still doing “too much”. But these things are so aligned and so natural to my life and my creative pursuits, that it feels effortless — like play.
Before, I was losing focus (and not moving forward) simply because I was too busy chasing too many shiny objects that were not aligned with my true purpose. I don’t regret them, because each venture gave me new and unique insights and skills. But they were a form of avoidance on my part.
And so, to paraphrase Alan Watts, what do you desire? Do that and forget about the money. The money will follow eventually.
Explore more:
➤ Do More of What You Want
Build Your Skills — Fix Your Weaknesses
This one is painful. Sometimes, you know what you want, but you also know you sort of suck at the thing you want to do. Or at least, you need to get better. You need to practice and develop your authenticity and your craft.
This was my biggest avoidance. Looking dumb and being a beginner takes humility.
It takes self awareness and a quiet ego to recognize when you simply suck at something (or part of something). And practice (real practice) is uncomfortable, annoying and boring.
You’re stepping into the unknown, unsure if all this effort will even pay off in any sort of meaningful way.
Getting better at something isn’t always fun. You visualize the sexy skills and results at the end of the tunnel, but getting there is ugly and full of self-doubts, low support and pain.
This is especially hard if you’re naturally passionate or skilled at something.
For example, I could always draw. So I skipped over tons of foundational courses and lessons. Now, I’ve been going back and relearning those things. And it stings. But I’ve been at it for about a bit now, and all I can say is damn!, foundations are important. Go figure lol.
My skills have tripled since learning the basics I thought I was just “too good” for. Pride and ego are sneaky things.
Focus comes down to recognizing your skill deficits and then upskilling yourself through patient and consistent practice. Remember, frequency is better than duration here.
Actively practicing for 20 minutes a day is way better than going nuts for 4 hours in one day, followed by nothing for a week.
Besides short bursts of consistency, remember to apply what you’re learning to real world projects to make your practice active — to make things stick.
And finally, push yourself — if what you’re learning feels easy, then you’re doing it wrong.
Stack Your Deck
I’m as good as the company I keep and the content I consume. And so, I must stack the deck. That is, tilt the odds ever in your favor.
Here are four ways I like to stack my cards:
Build a solid inner circle
Meet people who match your current and desired frequency/lifestyle
Cut ties if you must, network online — do whatever it takes
Craft an inspiring outer circle
Consume better, more motivating and educational content
Customize the algorithm — make your home feed epic
Optimize my environment
The spaces I work dictate the quality of my work
The smells, music and aesthetics of those spaces all influence my mood and creative energy — so make them inspiring
Use technology and resources
Try tools and technology to boost your productivity
Try productivity timers, platforms like Caveday or Notion templates to get ahead, work smarter and focus longer
And damnit, have fun. Remember to have fun. That’s all that really matters, isn’t it?
Later ✌️
Want More? Nice. Here’s More.
