How to Have No Expectations (by making them slow)
Everything is on-demand, short-form and algorithmic. But creativity, a solid adventure and living a carefree life are not. So, what can we do?
I like to shine a light on expectations, which sit in the center of all this clutter.
But expectations aren’t all bad – they just get a bad rap. So while it’s easy to jump to hyperbole and proclaim “have no expectations!”, this doesn’t work for me.
A little bit of cloud-living and some well-placed delusion are great things.
It’s not about having no expectations. It’s learning how to balance them and stay patient.
It’s about having slow expectations.
(clever, I know)
Alright, let’s get to it!
Table of Contents Show
What Are “Slow” Expectations?
Slow expectations live between having none at all and having too many. It’s a blend of balance and patience.
Slow expectations means you can go big with your dreams and ideas, but stay realistic with your timelines.
It’s all about patience, focus and planning.
But before we get into how I keep my expectations slow, let’s look at the pros and cons of them a bit more.
Expectations (the pros – the cons)
Expectations have their role. Sometimes.
So here are some pros and cons I’ve experienced as a traveler and musician.
The Upsides of Slow Expectation
It supports manifestation (if you’re into that)
It’s focus attention on your goals
Big goals can lead to big achievements
Your high expectations can motivate and inspire others
Slow expectations are more sustainable and strategic
It’s fun to dream and live in the clouds
The Downsides of Too Much Expectation
It can lead to disappointment
Expectations can cause stress
Perfectionism
Missing other opportunities because they’re not what they “should be”
How to Have no Slow Expectations (6 tips)
Expectations can be helpful – when they’re not rogue.
So here’s how I manage mine.
1. Be Realistic(ish)
I’m always in the clouds. It’s my home and I’ll never be a “realist”.
So I say, go big. Because a little bit of delusion is good.
While being realistic with goals and expectations is a sensible approach, it can also turn into a limitation.
This is especially true if you deal with any level of imposter syndrome or don’t feel like you deserve the thing you hope for.
So be realistic(ish) to some degree. But also don’t be afraid to go big.
And when you do go big, be sure to actually make a plan and take action.
Recommended: The Dreamer Personality (traits + tips)
2. Make A Plan
Making a realistic plan for your big goals is how you do slow expectations right.
Slow expectations means breaking down big ideas into smaller, more manageable steps. It’s like creating a map.
The key is to make the map realistic and patient. Because trying to become a millionaire in three months isn’t a realistic plan (unless you have experience, mentorship or money to start with).
So here’s how I like to break things down into slow steps:
Identify a big goal
Break down that big goal into micro goals
Break down each micro goal into smaller nano goals
Then, focus on your nano goals (as daily and weekly tasks) and slowly check them until you reach each micro goal (which are like monthly targets).
3. Why Do You Have Expectations + Disappointment?
Why do you have expectations about things?
And when those expectations aren’t met, do you get disappointed? (how come?)
Understanding your relationship with expectations will help you better manage them and move forward.
This requires some self awareness. But it’s worth it.
4. Challenge Your Beliefs
“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.”
Expectations and belief systems are close friends.
So it’s helpful to review your perspectives and challenge any that are getting in the way.
For example, if you don’t believe you deserve some epic goal, then your more likely to just have zero expectations.
That’s a bit sad, IMO.
On the other hand, if you think you deserve everything without too much effort or gratitude, then suddenly, you’re on the other end of the spectrum.
So do some self reflection and consider what beliefs you have about expectations and what’s possible.
5. Don’t Wait to Feel Happy
Disappointment happens when expectations aren’t met.
There’s this tendency to put off happiness until we reach our goal or some imaginary point. So I say, why wait?
One of my favorite ways to slow down my expectations (and just be more chill) is to live as if my expectations have already arrived.
For me, not waiting for expectations before feeling happy or fulfilled means embracing your future life as if it’s already happened – emotionally.
I guess it’s visualization and manifestation in a nutshell.
Recommended: How to Manifest Like An Artist
6. Stop Caring So Much
Not caring means legit loving exactly where you’re at right now.
This immediately gets rid of rogue expectations.
So get to a place where everything you are and everything you have is already more than enough. From this perspective, everything else gained is just a bonus.
This is one of my secrets to chillness.
Everything from this point forward in my life is just a bonus.
I don’t need anything else. I already have everything I need to do anything. Or, I already have everything I need to be happy.
This means being more minimalist, practicing gratitude and staying happy-go-lucky.
So get after your sh*t (growth is an adventure and it’s hella tight), but be chill about it.
Because who cares? Everything gained is just a bonus anyways.
Later ✌️
Slow expectations are a balance between having no expectations and having too many.
It means having patience, planning and not waiting to feel happy.
It means not caring so much.
So next time you find your expectations going rogue, step back and try to slow things down. It’s more sustainable this way.
Peace!
Want More? Okay. Here’s More.
