How to Stop Caring So Much (12 ways I care less)
Can you guess which one is me?
The less I care, the better I do. I’m more creative, I feel happier and I live better. I just feel more stoked about everything.
A laid-back life is my modus operandi. It’s part of my identity, creative work and life philosophy. And I’ve noticed something — the more I let go, the easier things get and the less resistance I experience.
I can laugh at myself and at the triviality of things I deem so important. And in that process, I have more fun, improve my skills and actually reach success more easily.
Learning how to stop caring so much is a modern life skill. So this post shares my favorite ways to do that.
But enough chit chat, let’s do this!
Table of Contents Show
What Does Caring Too Much Look Like? (the signs)
Caring too much can be subtle or obvious. But there are a few things I personally keep an eye out for.
Here are the signs that you or a loved one may be caring too much:
Recurring stress about many things
Feeling persistent anger or frustration
Reliving past moments over and over in your head
Worrying about the future — especially worst-case-scenario thinking
Not recognizing your achievements or only focusing on the negatives
Perfectionism
Why Should I? (the perks of not caring)
Become happier
Stress and worry less
Enjoy the process more (via less focus on the results)
More clarity and better decision-making
Improved authenticity
Notice more unique connections and new or different opportunities
Become more objective
How to Not Care So Much (12 best moves)
Ready to let go and stop caring so much? Perfect.
Here’s how I do it.
1. Focus On One Area of Life At A Time
What part(s) of your life do you care too much about?
Getting clarity around this question is a solid first step. Because learning how to stop caring so much is way easier if you just focus on one area of life at a time. For this, you have two main options:
Choose an important or urgent part of your life
Choose a smaller area of life
Focusing on a smaller area of life is a great way to get a quick win, which builds momentum and confidence.
But focusing on more urgent areas can feel more meaningful and make a bigger splash.
For me, I usually focus on creativity and music because they’re the most front and center things in my life. I tend to care too much about what people think and whether or not I’m “good enough”.
This is a creativity bottleneck in my processes. So I create custom solutions to care less. And as a result, I tend to create better and feel more authentic.
Trying to care less about every aspect of your life all at once would be overwhelming and unsustainable.
But focusing on just one at a time? Well, that’s way more effective and compounds over time.
Recommended: How to Narrow Your Focus
2. Find Out Why You Care So Much (+ delete those stressors)
Time for some self reflection. Why do you even care?
Pinpointing the cause of a problem is the best way to create an effective solution. For example, in my creativity example, I realized many of my cares stemmed from needing validation or approval.
I was looking for signals that told me that what I was making was worthwhile. But I realized — through self reflection — that such an endeavor was stupid.
This need for validation was the whole reason I cared too much about the things I didn’t want to care too much about in the first place. It became a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy.
Validation like metrics is a diminishing return, meaning more “juice” is needed each time to create the same level of excitation.
So now, I consciously remind myself everyday that video likes and blog rankings should not be my core indicators of creativity or quality.
For you, your causes for caring too much may stem from past experiences, unrealistic expectations or some other external factors.
The trick is to identify those causes and then either avoid them altogether or create custom solutions for them.
In my example, one solution is to limit and update my social media habits. What about you?
3. Make Social Media Fun Again
Social media can totally suck or it can be an amazing place that’s full of inspiration and opportunity. But both directions have a compounding effect.
So to care less, I try to make social media fun, creative and helpful (it’s core purpose, IMO). Here’s how:
Avoid negative, stress-inducing content/creators
Consume more inspiring and motivating stuff
Avoid comparison and catch yourself in the moment
Minimize your time on platforms
Attach your social media use to some specific creative goals
Treat social media like a creative canvas to play on
Detach from metrics
Although I’m far from perfect, simply practicing these healthier social media habits has helped a lot.
The better I interact with social media platforms, the less I’m impacted by their negative sides and the less I care overall.
Recommended: I Used to Hate Social Media
4. Create A More Chill Lifestyle
Becoming more chill in life is the ultimate way to care less. And it’s a core theme for my own content and brand mission — from creativity and content creation to travel and beyond.
Whenever I start from a place of chillness, I do everything better. So what does a chill lifestyle even mean then? Here’s my take.
Living more chill means you’re optimizing your life for less stress, negativity and worry. And it just takes some intention and practice.
So here are some quick tips that always help me stay chill:
Stack the deck. Create a chill context in your life by meeting more relaxed people, creating relaxing spaces in your home and consuming more chill content.
Go with the flow more. The less I try to control everything and simply accept things by going with the flow, the more relaxed I am.
Start meditating. Meditation rewires your brain and helps you care less. Here’s my meditation routine for clarity and creativity.
Prioritize your passions. In my optimistic view, doing more of what makes you happy is a simple way to become more carefree and stoked in life.
Have less. This means becoming more minimalist. Because the more stuff you have, the more stuff you have to worry or care about.
Stop aiming for perfection. Perfectionism is the villain to creativity, happiness and carefreeness. So recognizing this and avoiding it is important work.
5. Adopt An Adventurer’s Mindset
A true adventurer doesn’t care so much about the destination as they do the journey.
Even then, they go with the wind.
So as cliché as it sounds, detach from outcomes and become more process-oriented. Put another way, love the journey and all of its ups and downs. Destinations are fun for a moment, but then they get boring.
It’s like the end of a good movie. It’s cathartic and feels good. But quickly, you’re looking for the next title.
So appreciate the steps and milestones along the way. And care less about where they're heading to.
Here are some ways I maintain my own adventurer’s mindset:
Loosen expectations and set more realistic timelines for goals
Fall in love with change and be open to new directions or spontaneity
Assume less and let go of how you think things should happen
Travel more (travel teaches patience and letting go — perfect ingredients for caring less)
Recommended: Unlock Your Adventure Mindset
6. Avoid Dogma
In my experience, the less dogmatic I am, the less I care. I’m less attached to any one idea or way of being.
If some belief of mine is “attacked”, I approach things with curiosity rather than anger or worry.
Detachment from dogma keeps me open to new discoveries, insights and opportunities. If I’m ever pulled in a new direction or proven wrong by some new evidence or experience, I’m ready to explore that new angle.
For example, when I went from strict vegan to vegetarian to pescetarian and then finally to just flexitarian/omnivorous (so many names lol), I cared less. I became happier.
And I’m not saying that one diet is better than another!
Many people thrive with veganism, and if that works for you, that’s amazing. But for me, I found myself judging others and caring too much. It became a source of stress, which is far worse than just eating a cheeseburger.
While there are some universal truths (like don’t be a d to other people), balance was my answer.
Most problems in life have more than one solution. So — using veganism again — if animal rights is the problem, veganism is a great answer for many. But it’s not the only solution.
Less dogma means finding a customized solution that works best for you and not judging other paths, because there is more than one way to get to the top of a mountain.
It’s the same with my music. The less I care about sticking to one specific genre or style, the more fun, creative and authentic I feel. It’s less restriction, which is more carefree.
So here’s how I do things:
Practice listening more than speaking
View things as a neutral observer (like a scientist or an ethnographer)
Be a learner and fall in love with testing new ideas
Be less attached to outcomes and let go of control
Practice perspective taking by putting yourself in other’s shoes
Identify your current dogmas
Challenge your current dogmas with alternative evidence and an open mind
Reflect on how much your mind, lifestyle and beliefs have already changed over time (because it’s safe to assume that you’ll continue changing plenty more)
7. Become Like Bamboo
““The bamboo that bends is stronger than the oak that resists.””
This is one of my favorite quotes. It’s a Japanese proverb and it hits in all the right places.
It means that being flexible makes you stronger and more resilient than being stubborn. And flexibility is a core trait of a carefree personality. So, be like bamboo.
Bend, don’t break at the first sign of contradiction, stress or disagreement. The environment will always be there with heavy winds. So you may as well learn to sway with them.
There’s a reason that adaptability is an evolutionary trait.
Okay, enough with the metaphors.
But in all seriousness, if you want to care less about the (often) stupid things that rob our energy, then try to become more flexible in life.
8. Love Who You Are
I used to want to be someone else. I thought my ideas weren’t good enough and my quirks were too strange.
I always imagined some future “perfect” version of me who had it all figured out.
But our weird nuances, mistakes and uniqueness we try to hide are exactly what sets each of us apart from the crowd. And more importantly, the more I embrace those parts of my personality and life, the less I care overall.
Wanting to improve yourself is good stuff. But wanting to be someone different by suppressing your authenticity is stressful and negative.
For me, a lot of my desire to change was due to caring too much — caring too much about what others think, about failing, succeeding…everything.
The more I embrace who I am — my quirks and all — the less I care about all that noise.
I feel happier and I create better. I can show up everyday being exactly who I want and need to be. It’s liberating. So I totally recommend it.
Here are some quick tips to love who you are:
Define what your quirks are — what makes you unique?
Find more friends who you’re comfortable being yourself around
What factors prevent you from embracing yourself?
Don’t measure your self worth using social media
Practice self care
Recommended: Embrace Your Weirdness
9. Do More Hard Stuff
The more I break past comfort zones, the less I care. The harder stuff I do, the harder it is for me to feel defeated and care about the little things.
For example, talking to a camera used to make me care way too much about so many things. I didn’t like my voice, I didn’t think I was “good looking” enough, I didn’t speak clear enough, my ideas felt bland and moot…the list goes on.
But the more I do the hard thing of talking to a camera, the less I care about all those stupid reasons I had for never doing it in the first place.
I’ve realized an interesting correlation between discomfort and not caring. The more stuff I do in my life that’s uncomfortable, the less I care overall.
From traveling to facing my fears, doing more hard stuff makes me feel a sense of pride and liberation from the thing that used to keep me in a box.
Some of the greatest comforts in life (like not caring) come after periods of great discomfort. So practice that and learn to let go more often.
Recommended: How I Embrace Challenges
10. Practice Big Picture Thinking
Big picture thinking is when you zoom out to see the whole situation — not just the details or the small parts of something larger.
It’s the art of not losing the forest for the trees. And it’s a solid way to stop caring so much.
Often, when I care too much, it’s because of something tiny that doesn’t really matter. Actually, it’s usually a culmination of many tiny things, which makes it all feel much bigger than it really is.
But the point is this: those tiny things, as many as there may be, are not the bigger picture.
The bigger picture doesn’t care about the day-to-day, the mistakes, the struggles or the nuances. It’s zoomed out and sees everything as it truly is.
So I like to borrow this perspective in my own life as a way to reset myself and stop caring so much. Here’s how:
Have more realistic timelines
Stay aware and intentional of zooming out at least once a day
Reflect on past achievements and personal growth
Celebrate the little wins
Focus on checkpoints, not finish lines
Remember your why
Recommended: How I Practice Big Picture Thinking
11. Meditate
Meditation is probably one of the most effective ways to care less.
It’s completely rewired my brain and has helped me to live more mindfully and in the present moment. I’m able to let go, detach, worry less and keep calm.
So as broken-record as it sounds, don’t skip over this tip. Give it an honest try (for longer than just a couple days).
You may start with barely being able to sit still for four minutes. But if you keep at it, that four minutes will quickly feel like 2 minutes. And so on.
It’s like a muscle. The more you stretch it or strengthen it, the more flexible and strong it becomes.
Meditation gives me a sense of control. And when I feel in control of my surroundings, my reactions to life become quieter. Ultimately, I care less.
So here are some of my favorite tips for meditating:
Start small with short meditations
Designate a specific space in your house or room for meditation
Use noise, lighting and scents to improve your meditations
Try different meditation styles and find one that works for you
Research about the benefits of meditation and how to do it
Use apps like Calm or Headspace for extra guidance
Try to show up everyday and stay patient
Don’t look for results or feel discouraged (there are no bad meditations)
Keep a journal about what you’re experiencing
Recommended: My Meditation Routine for Creativity
12. Distract Your Cares
Imagine your cares were a dog. In full form, tail and all.
Now, imagine:
Squirrel!
That’s what we’re trying to do here.
The idea is to distract your cares by doing something else entirely — something that piques your interest and holds your attention. And it’s not as hard as it sounds either!
It’s like taking a break or stepping away from your work. Replacing your cares with another less stressful stimulus is a quick way to stop caring so much in the moment. This is especially good when it’s something related to your personal goals or vision.
So here are some common squirrels I like to use to distract my own cares:
Listen to chill music
Go for an aimless drive
Exercise
Find new hobbies
Meditate
Later ✌️
Learning how to stop caring so much is an awesome goal. In my own life, the less I care, the more creative, authentic and happier I am.
Some of my favorite ways to care less are starting small and focused, using social media better, having an adventurer's mindset, avoiding dogma and meditating.
But whatever strategy you end up using, remember to stay patient and don’t worry about being perfect with this carefree lifestyle.
Cares will always be there. The goal is to simply lessen their severity and shorten their duration.
Want More? Okay. Here’s More.
